This was one of those weeks that remind me that I'm technically dying, but today was a day that I really felt the enabling power of Christ's Atonement. I was able to go to the full 3 hours of church, and apart from very swollen feet, I haven't even felt too badly today.
Never in my life have I had so much reason to rejoice in the promise of the resurrection as I have now. It was this time two years ago that I was passing through the valley of the shadow for the first time, and now as I pass through it again, I look and feel very much the same as I did then -- except that instead of a baby in my belly, there's only a catheter.
In the last few months, my kidneys have gotten suddenly worse. I sped through Stage 4 (see the CKD glossary) between -- well, I missed my quarterly blood test in the fall, so I have to guess, but based on when I started feeling worse, I'd say November -- and February. I started feeling even greater fatigue, getting headaches all the time, having trouble sleeping, and just feeling generally yucky.
Last week I passed into Stage 5 (kidney failure). My blood pressure got up to 191/116 despite being on three different blood pressure medications, and I started retaining water and feeling not only tired, but weak, and frequently cold. It's an interesting thing to be dying (as far as my body knows), without being going to die. If I didn't have access to transplant and/or dialysis, this would be the beginning of the end.